The Anxiety Of Writing Is Real
Graphophobia – A fear of writing
This makes me feel vulnerable that I’m exposing the innermost thoughts and that writing could lead to devastating outcomes for me in my life.
Writing in public knowledge leads to a paranoia which is akin to being naked in public
A journal is a place for us to dive into our emotions about our lives
I’m unable to shake the fear of writing honestly, or of releasing raw emotions and truth to the page, having just the thought of doing so fills me with shame. I have a fear that I’ll get invaded through my writing. It’s real. It makes me feel vulnerable knowing that I am exposing my inner thoughts and the devastating outcome which can happen. What if someone knows that it’s me, things that I’ve never shared with anyone, memories which I have buried comes out to light. What if my husband, friends or family find out who I am.
How did the fear come about?
Simply because I have buried too many memories, feelings, and events that I am ashamed of, matters which has been left undealt with. And since I have started writing, these “MEMORIES, FEELINGS AND EVENTS” are surfacing, forcing me to be in touch with myself again. Maybe there is more to it, which I haven’t figured out.
What I Concluded
Is there a cure for it?
I doubt so. There are so many things, topics, and articles which I can write. But that is not what I want to do. The only rule I have for myself is to feel it and to use it in my work. If it’s not coming, then I’m not ready for that yet. I can’t purge the fear because the fear is a part of me and that makes me special in this entire progress. The anxiety and fear have crippled me and I have not learned how to deal with that.
Learning to embrace the fear
Learning how to make it trans-formative is a very personal integral process which I hope to achieve. It is only when I learn to embrace the fear and to accept, then will I be able to heal and take it off as a writer. My goal is to ride the wave of healing and this is my journey. What’s Yours?
“Your Experiences Will Bring You, Riches”
And I wish you the best of luck on your journey too.
Check out my previous article ” Always to Blame, Always My Fault, Always You & Never Me