My Mood Swings My Mood Bounces

My Moods Don't Swing

My Moods Don’t Swing

My moods don’t swing, they bounce

 

What do I mean? I wonder the same too.

How can a person’s mood change so rapidly, it’s insane. Sometimes I don’t even realize it, how it changed, what caused it, and what can I do about it. It’s tiring.

 

One minute I feel as though I’m all ready to conquer the world, and the next minute I’m all drained out.

This morning when I got up, my mood wasn’t at its best. I was so grumpy that you couldn’t imagine what I was like. All I wanted to do was get the kids to school and have my peace and quiet. I was feeling awful. Then things changed, I went for breakfast as usual. The difference was having my stepsons around today and they are not the cause of my downward spiral. We started talking and all of a sudden a burst of positive energy came upon me. That’s when my mood changed for the 100th time. In a short span of minutes, hours and days, my moods can bounce from anywhere high to low.  How does that happen to a person? I couldn’t understand it.

 

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AGAIN?!

An hour ago, I felt so motivated, energetic and confident. An hour later it went down the opposite I feel so drained, exhausted, numb, and I just want to hide.   Am I the only insane being going through this? No one seems to understand that. I want to feel better too, I want to be that confident, motivated, energetic, mom, wife and person. But I don’t have the energy to challenge my mind. I want to sleep so that it can all go away but I couldn’t fall asleep. All of a sudden I feel so NUMB, I can’t feel anything at all. And again I feel so empty, lifeless and soulless. I don’t have the words to describe what I am experiencing. It’s not that I’m in a bad mood, it’s just not that kind of mood or thing. If you know what I mean. Oh please, tell me that I’m not the only one. I wish someone can actually understand what I’m going through. It’s frustrating when your energy level fluctuates in its own crazy way. You don’t have control of it.

 

I'm Not Crazy, I'm NOT

I’m Not Crazy, I’m NOT

 

It’s not like what everyone says, just get over it, do something and stop being lazing.

It’s just not like that. I’m so frustrated with all these thoughts in my head, they won’t stop repeating. I keep hearing them whenever my mood spirals down. Everyone thinks I’m just simply impossible. I wish that was the case, then would it be so much easier to understand and manage. But it really isn’t. If only someone believed me.

There Is Light At The End Of The Tunnel

There Is Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Please tell me that I’m not alone. I’m not crazy. I need help. I want to be helped.

 

The Inner Self Within You

 

The Inner Self Within You

The Inner Self Within You

The Inner Self Within You

 

When was the last time you actually really talked to yourself?

That minute, hour, day, days, months and years just passed by without you realizing. What have you really been doing? Busy working, putting food on the table, spending time on social media, running errands?

 

Have You Spoken To The Inner Self Within You?

What about you? What about your inner self which is most important above all else? We are constantly trying to please everyone around us, we are so preoccupied with the thing and materials in the world. That we FORGET. We FORGET  to live and we FORGET the meaning of life.

 

Living Life

Living Life

What does the word Life and Living mean to you?

Every single day I see many soulless human beings going through the motion. None of them are living in the present. What happened to the simplicity in the human world. Many of you may not agree with me whereas others may find happiness, fulfillment, contentment in your jobs, qualifications, cars, houses whatever that is for you. If that is the truth and that is what truly makes your life meaningful for you, then I’m happy for you. Afterall it boils down to “Whatever Works”

 

I live inside my head

I speak for myself and I must admit that I forgot what life is all about and I constantly need reminders. Pilled up with guilt, shame, anger, inadequacy, hurt, unworthiness, you name it and it’s there. Not because I want to dwell on it, but the reality is depression is a disease that eats you up slowly without you even knowing. Depression can happen to any and everyone with or without a reason.

 

The Inner Child Hidden In Me

Hidden Within

Hidden Within

Whilst reflecting I realized that there is a little child from my past stuck within me. She has been my voice, she leads my life, she controls my thoughts. It is ironic that I’m terrified of this little girl otherwise also known as little me and for this sole reason I avoided talking to myself. I did not want to meet her. I ran and I kept running from myself and everyone around me. It feels like as though she has taken control of my life. Perhaps it is time for me to gain the courage to ”Make A Difference” Stop living in the Past and be focused on the present.

 

Thank you for your heartfelt message

Moving forward, I would like to give a shout out to Beauty Of The Bloom https://www.instagram.com/beautyofthebloom/.  When I wrote my first article I never thought that anyone would read it. When she dropped me the first comment on my post, I felt so touched, appreciated and thankful.  And it is because of that little action which left an impact on me. Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts and encouragement.

 

That Simple Action You Make Can Change Someone’s Life

We never know how much the little actions as trivial as they seem to us actually could mean the world to someone else. Because of that little action from you, you gave me HOPE to keep going.

 

 

The Light of Hope

The Light of Hope

 

Never underestimate your goodwill for someone else.

Something we all already know, it doesn’t take a genius to know it. We are humans, we need constant reminders, motivation, and encouragement. Just like you, I need them too. Perhaps the only difference is the frequency I need them. Don’t be surprised I even need motivation and encouragement to get simple daily basic life errands to be done. And if that’s you too, you’re not alone.

 

I Did Something Today, Let’s see how tomorrow goes.

Finally, after realizing that I have been stuck in my past and that I have unknowingly allowed my past to affect my present and future. I want to make that change. The first step to change is always to have ”Awareness”  And If all you did today was get out of bed, that’s a start.

 

Change Is Constant

Change Is Constant

 

Be In The PRESENT, The Answers Are Within You

 

The Anxiety Of Writing Is Real

 

The Anxiety of Writing Is Real

The Anxiety of Writing Is Real

 

The Anxiety Of Writing Is Real

 

Graphophobia – A fear of writing

http://phobia.wikia.com/wiki/Graphophobia

 

Graphophobia

Graphophobia

 

This makes me feel vulnerable that I’m exposing the innermost thoughts and that writing could lead to devastating outcomes for me in my life.

 

 

Writing in public knowledge leads to a paranoia which is akin to being naked in public

Dive Into Your Emotions

Dive Into Your Emotions

A journal is a place for us to dive into our emotions about our lives

I’m unable to shake the fear of writing honestly, or of releasing raw emotions and truth to the page, having just the thought of doing so fills me with shame. I have a fear that I’ll get invaded through my writing. It’s real. It makes me feel vulnerable knowing that I am exposing my inner thoughts and the devastating outcome which can happen. What if someone knows that it’s me, things that I’ve never shared with anyone, memories which I have buried comes out to light. What if my husband, friends or family find out who I am.

How did the fear come about?

Simply because I have buried too many memories, feelings, and events that I am ashamed of, matters which has been left undealt with. And since I have started writing, these “MEMORIES, FEELINGS AND EVENTS” are surfacing, forcing me to be in touch with myself again. Maybe there is more to it, which I haven’t figured out.

Embrace Your Fears

Embrace Your Fears

What I Concluded

Is there a cure for it?

I doubt so. There are so many things, topics, and articles which I can write. But that is not what I want to do. The only rule I have for myself is to feel it and to use it in my work. If it’s not coming, then I’m not ready for that yet. I can’t purge the fear because the fear is a part of me and that makes me special in this entire progress. The anxiety and fear have crippled me and I have not learned how to deal with that.

Learning to embrace the fear

Learning how to make it trans-formative is a very personal integral process which I hope to achieve. It is only when I learn to embrace the fear and to accept, then will I be able to heal and take it off as a writer. My goal is to ride the wave of healing and this is my journey. What’s Yours?

 

Believe In Yourself

Believe In Yourself

 

 “Your Experiences Will Bring You, Riches”

And I wish you the best of luck on your journey too.

 

Check out my previous article ” Always to Blame, Always My Fault, Always You & Never Me

https://searchingher.com/alwaystoblamealwaysmyfaultalwaysyouneverme/

 

What It’s Like Living With Depression and Anxiety | Mental Health | Searching Her

The Unseen Depression

The Unseen Depression

 

What it’s like living with depression and anxiety

 

Depression

What it’s like living with depression and anxiety

First of all, It is different from feeling sad or being in a bad mood.

In other words, unhappiness is something everyone feels at one point.

A depressed mood is a normal temporary reaction to life events such as loss of a loved one. But being sad is not the same as having depression.

Unlike a person suffering from depression may experience high levels of Anxiety together with other symptoms. For example, simple things like going to work, socializing with friends, or getting out of bed can be a struggle. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away.

Depression comes in many different forms.

Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many. Fortunately, it is also treatable.  Below is a list of common signs and symptoms to look out for.

 

Common Signs and Symptoms

 

Signs and Symptoms

Signs and Symptoms

 

Symptoms must last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression.

  • Tiredness and loss of energy.
  • Sadness that doesn’t go away.
  • Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • Difficulty concentrating.
  • Restlessness.
  • Not being able to enjoy things that are usually pleasurable or interesting.
  • Feeling anxious all the time
  • Avoiding people, sometimes even your close friends
  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
  • Sleep pattern changes
  • Strong feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Finding it hard to function at work/college/school
  • Loss of appetite or a sudden increase in appetite
  • Loss of sex drive
  • Physical aches
  • Recurring thoughts of death
  • Self-harm

 

What Causes Depression?

Depression is not a mood you can just get over.

It is far more common than you might think, with nearly one out of 10 adults depressed at any time, about half of them severely.

No one knows the exact cause, however, researchers estimate that almost one out of every five people in the US, will experience major depression at some point in their lifetime. There are many possible causes such as stressful life events, medical conditions, or chemical imbalance.

It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away.

 

Ways To Cope

Find Your Happy Place

Find Your Happy Place

 

  • The primary medical options are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
  • Anti-depressant medication
  • Exercise not only improves your health. Endorphins (‘feel good’hormones) are released and this can raise your mood
  • Breathing exercises and muscle relaxation
  • Build a support network with others who may be experiencing the same things as you
  • Continue to educate yourself about depression
  • Set realistic goals for yourself
  • Ask someone else for what you need
  • Talk to a therapist
  • Express yourself in writing
  • Stay connected with friends and families
  • Develop a healthy sleep routine

 

Getting Help

 

Help Is Available, You Are NOT Alone

Help Is Available, You Are NOT Alone

 

If you or someone you know is unable to cope with depression, professional help is available.

Chances are you may have experienced the disorder at some point in your life. If you are unsure, there is no harm in getting an assessment just to reassure yourself.

You don’t have to struggle through it alone. Don’t feel guilty for feeling the way you do. A mental illness/disorder is just like any other illness. Seek treatment early. Help is available and you are not alone.

 

Searching Her Videos

In the meantime, I have made a short video.

If you like to watch it you can click on the link provided: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEJ0fi17yI_9yW-J8ECQfrnqOQZ-BNZjz

YOU ARE NOT ALONE