My moods don’t swing, they bounce
What do I mean? I wonder the same too.
How can a person’s mood change so rapidly, it’s insane. Sometimes I don’t even realize it, how it changed, what caused it, and what can I do about it. It’s tiring.
One minute I feel as though I’m all ready to conquer the world, and the next minute I’m all drained out.
This morning when I got up, my mood wasn’t at its best. I was so grumpy that you couldn’t imagine what I was like. All I wanted to do was get the kids to school and have my peace and quiet. I was feeling awful. Then things changed, I went for breakfast as usual. The difference was having my stepsons around today and they are not the cause of my downward spiral. We started talking and all of a sudden a burst of positive energy came upon me. That’s when my mood changed for the 100th time. In a short span of minutes, hours and days, my moods can bounce from anywhere high to low. How does that happen to a person? I couldn’t understand it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AGAIN?!
An hour ago, I felt so motivated, energetic and confident. An hour later it went down the opposite I feel so drained, exhausted, numb, and I just want to hide. Am I the only insane being going through this? No one seems to understand that. I want to feel better too, I want to be that confident, motivated, energetic, mom, wife and person. But I don’t have the energy to challenge my mind. I want to sleep so that it can all go away but I couldn’t fall asleep. All of a sudden I feel so NUMB, I can’t feel anything at all. And again I feel so empty, lifeless and soulless. I don’t have the words to describe what I am experiencing. It’s not that I’m in a bad mood, it’s just not that kind of mood or thing. If you know what I mean. Oh please, tell me that I’m not the only one. I wish someone can actually understand what I’m going through. It’s frustrating when your energy level fluctuates in its own crazy way. You don’t have control of it.
It’s not like what everyone says, just get over it, do something and stop being lazing.
It’s just not like that. I’m so frustrated with all these thoughts in my head, they won’t stop repeating. I keep hearing them whenever my mood spirals down. Everyone thinks I’m just simply impossible. I wish that was the case, then would it be so much easier to understand and manage. But it really isn’t. If only someone believed me.
Please tell me that I’m not alone. I’m not crazy. I need help. I want to be helped.