Haunting Past ? 10 Ways To Overcome Your Toxic Past Relationship.

Haunting Past ? 10 Ways To Overcome Your Toxic Past Relationship.

Haunting Past ? 10 Ways To Overcome Your Toxic Past Relationship.     Haunting Past Relationship

1. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR BEING ENTANGLED IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP IN THE PAST.

Most of us if not all of us have at least been in a toxic relationship once before. One that causes mental stress, emotional imbalance, and many breakdowns. Know that it does not only happen to you. A good start will be telling yourself it happens in life to almost everybody and stop blaming yourself. There is no “what if” here, it happened cos it happened. End of story.       Haunting Past Relationship

2. DO NOT EVER PUNISH YOUR PRESENT RELATIONSHIP FOR WHAT YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP DID.

So you had a bad relationship in the past, know that your present relationship with your partner is NOT THE SAME. He or she is not that person you dated and hated in the past. Do not compare or try to find similarities in the present relationship. Be willing to accept your partner for who she/he is. Create happy memories together. If there is any similarity to the trauma you have endured in the past do let your partner know. Talk, Speak and discuss it together as a couple. You will be amazed by the results. Try it.     Haunting Past Relationship

3. ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN’T UNDO YOUR PAST.

Acceptance is key in every recovery process. Accept that once upon a time, your relationship sucks. You can’t undo it, YOU NEVER WILL. Accept that it’s in the past, you had no control over it. Your past made you the person you are today, accept it. And without that UGLY HAUNTING PAST, you might still be “clueless” you and still be stuck in a toxic relationship. While it takes time to “swallow” and “absorb” the reality, take it from me, you need to free yourself. You will see things clearer and from a better perspective once you fully accept that you can’t undo your past.   Haunting Past Relationship  

4. STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR HAUNTING PAST, “WALK THE OTHER DIRECTION”.

I know, you can’t help it. It’s lingering and loitering at the back of your mind. The proven way for me every single time is to walk the other direction. Find yourself being stuck in your past again and again? Keep going the other direction. It’s actually simple logic, you don’t run into a burning building. (This does not apply to all the firemen reading this, thank you guys for your service.) Instead, you run the other direction to save yourself. Apply this “theory” in your life and you are able to rescue yourself again and again. It takes practice but you will get the hang out of it.   Haunting Past Relationship  

5. DISCONNECT WITH YOUR PAST AND RECONNECT WITH YOUR PRESENT.

If you find yourself “is in the past”, find every possible way to disconnect with it. Tell yourself it’s not real and it’s really all just your haunting past. Call your partner, family members or even trusted close friends and talk about it. Do not allow it to “grapple” you to the ground and leave you suffocated. Most of the time upon reaching out, your loved ones will come to aid you. In fact that they will feel honored that you trust them enough to reach out. Once reconnected in your present, realize that you are loved and there are people who are willing to walk the path with you. You are not alone.

  Haunting Past Relationship

6. STRIVE TO BE A BETTER PERSON TODAY AND NOW!

Learn how to cook if you haven’t. Surprise your partner with that “sumptuous ” home cooked dinner. Gone are the days where the cooking is all left to the woman to be done. Try fixing things at home, create a bucket list of “to dos” With tons of resources available online and offline, there will never be a day where you cant learn a new skill or teach yourself something. In this era, having a growth mindset will help you in so many ways and without you realizing it, you are way ahead from that person you are from that haunting past. Not only will you benefit from it personally, but the people you loved around you will also benefit from it too. No negativity here, all positive.   Haunting Past Relationship  

7. FIND FORGIVENESS, NOT TOWARDS YOUR EX- OR YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP BUT FOR YOURSELF.

You need to forgive yourself. You heard it a million times from a million people, DO NOT SELF BLAME. Forgive yourself and keep forgiving yourself. That’s the only way. Don’t expect the toxic people from your haunting past to ask or beg for forgiveness from you. They are done and gone. It’s you, your new partner and whatever lies ahead of you. Take some time to reflect, “mourn” if you have to and forgive yourself again and again. Once you are well grounded on planet earth again know that you have a bright future ahead with so much opportunity. Haunting Past Relationship  

8. PRACTICE GRATITUDE AND BE MINDFUL OF YOUR PRESENT.

Practice gratitude and keep on practicing. Be thankful for even the smallest of things. The air you breathe, the mailman who ensured that your mail comes on time, that Uber driver who gave you a charging cable while sending you to the office. There are many benefits of practicing gratitude, you can read it here.  Mindfulness is often the approach by many Psychotherapist. You need to be in your present and be mindful of your surrounding. There are many benefits to reap from being mindful. I will write about it in future articles. Being mindful has helped me take control of my life in so many ways.   Haunting Past Relationship  

9. CREATE NEW MEMORIES WITH YOUR PRESENT RELATIONSHIP.

So forget the past. You get it by now. What should you do next? Well, the answer to that is quite simple and straightforward. Create new memories with your partner, beautiful ones. In no time your newly created happy memories will overwhelm your haunting past. And if ever you look back, all you see is newly created happy memories. Do not limit the possibilities and chances of having a better NEW  past and better future.   Haunting Past Relationship  

10. YOUR LIFE DOES NOT GET BETTER BY CHANCE, IT GETS BETTER BY CHANGE.

After all the above is said and done. You need to understand that your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by the change. Change takes a lot of effort and it does not happen overnight and by itself. Put in the effort and see the results for yourself. Keep working towards the betterment of yourself and the future.    

In Conclusion.

The above list is just 10 Ways To Overcome Your Toxic Past Relationship. The actual list is endless. And you may have a different list from mine. What works for me might not work for you, I think the main message I try to convey here is to NEVER GIVE UP in yourself EVER. The world has its shares of negativity, we do not need to add to that. You control your future and destiny. Believe in yourself.         If you are curious about my personal haunting past, you can read it here.  Follow me on my Facebook page: Searching Her @TheMentalHealthLife      
10 WAYS To Be Happy No Matter What Life Throws At You

10 Ways To Be Happy No Matter What Life Throws At You

10 Ways To Be Happy No Matter What Life Throws At You

 

ONE NOT SO FINE DAY

Ever find yourself feeling lifeless, aimless and simply refusing to last another hour on this planet?

For me, it’s my depression, for some life hits them so hard right “smack in the face” when they least expect.

The good news is, even if you are not diagnosed with Depression like me, you might still end up being sad, emotionless and simply just tired.

I am talking about the mother of all TIREDNESS.


10 ways to be happy

 

 

HERE ARE 10 WAYS YOU CAN TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU


1. Keeping It Simple.

When I started Project Searching Her, I was hyped and began writing the stuff I needed to get the project running. I was spending hours after hours to research for my website and Youtube Channel.

Soon I find myself skipping meals, neglecting my personal hygiene and not getting sufficient rest my body needed.

What I really needed was the basics. Simple easy to follow routines. Eating on time, ensuring that I do not neglect my personal hygiene and most importantly SLEEP. 

Science has proven to us again and again that our human body needs to rest for it to be at its optimum performance.

After setting my routine again, I find myself happier and more productive. Very well grounded.

 

2. Do Not Take Your Anger To Bed With You.

I realized that venting all my worries and irritation before I go to bed helps keeps me happy the next day.

It could be writing on your personal diary, sharing with a close trusted friend. Or even venting it out through exercises.

Being a stay at home mum and having 2 toddlers running around the house, I find it “Therapeutic”  to transform all the rage and hatred in me positively through household chores.

Yes, you read it correctly, household chores. For those of you who have domestic helpers and part-time housekeeper consider yourself lucky and fortunate.

To some people like us, its full body workout daily.

Well looked at it this way, at the end of the day its a win-win situation for me. I get to vent my anger and I have a clean house before calling it a day.

 

3. Fake It And Keep Faking It.

Our mysterious minds work in a strange way sometimes.

Feelings will often lead to actions. And actions can at times make you do things you might regret later one. Don’t succumb to every feeling especially if they are negative. Instead, do the opposite.

When you feel sad, instead of being miserable and gloomy try acting happy and cheery, you just might find yourself feeling happier.

If you are feeling angry, instead of going “guns blazing” to the people around you, try a different approach by being kind to everyone in your path.

Remember, it’s not about if you feel like doing it.

Every negative feeling MUST be converted to a positive feeling and action even if it’s not real.

This strategy is remarkably effective.

 

4. Learn Something New Daily.

Our mind constantly needs stimulation and “the feel-good” factor. This can be achieved through accomplishments and daily goals.

Try it! Challenge yourself, explore the web, Youtube and any other resources where you can learn something new daily.

No matter how big or small the challenge is, you will be surprised with the results.

There were days where I taught myself how to cook simple recipes and there were also days where I learned how to do website SEO.

This feel-good factor will enable you to be happier.

 

5. Practice Gratitude Daily.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be saved for the “big” things in life.

The habit of being grateful starts with appreciating every good thing in life and recognizing that there is nothing too small for you to be thankful for.

Even if it is as simple as appreciating the clear weather.

You will find yourself feeling happier by practicing to be grateful.

 

6. Trading Money For Some Happiness.

While money is an important commodity, so is your happiness. Don’t try to save all that money.

I am not saying splurge all you have and start buying random things. But you know what I mean.

Treat yourself to that newly opened restaurant. If you are not a foodie and more of a techie like my husband, grab hold of the latest electronic products.

Go on dates, coffee sessions and even fun meetups with that long lost friend, family member, and even your partner. Renew the relationship again.

But always spend within your means.

 

7. Living In The Present, Be Mindful.

Do not compare yourself to others. Be happy with what you have and stop comparing.

And if you really can’t help but compare yourself to others. Think about all the sufferings in the other parts of the world. Hunger, children dying, war zones and even being homeless.

I am sure your situation is nothing compared to them.

So stop worrying and start appreciating what is in front of you and live in the present.

 

8. Get Sweaty and Unleash That Dopamine.

Exercising regularly has been proven scientifically to boost the moods. I am not talking about the full type of training like Stallone in Rocky or even in a Floyd Vs Manny fight.

I am talking about simple brisk walking for 10 mins around the block. If you are too lazy to get out of the house, with technology so advanced, connect with your favorite exercise trainer on Youtube and get sweaty in the comforts of your home.

Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters.

Even a 10-minute stretching exercise can brighten my outlook and change my day.

Grab a towel and start releasing that dopamine in the head.

 

9. Read Or Watch Something Inspiring.

If you are like my husband and hate going out, Check out his blog here Mr. Agoraphobic. You can find ways to uplift yourself by reading some inspiring books at home.

And if reading is not your “thing” there are numerous resources of motivational and inspiring videos online.

You will never know which one will be beneficial for you until you read it or watch it.

Happy Hunting.

 

10. Work Hard And Keep On Trying To Make Yourself Happy By Taking Action.

Take time to reflect and start paving a way towards your happiness.

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? Only you have the answer to that yourself.

Start taking action and work towards it. You don’t have “SAD Genes” and neither are you doomed for life for being unhappy always.

You can start changing all that by following the steps above and be the best version of yourself.

 

If you find the above tips useful and beneficial for you, share it with a friend, family members and loved ones.

 

 

 

Follow me on my facebook page: Searching Her @TheMentalHealthLife