Always to Blame, Always My Fault, Always You & Never Me

 

Always To Blame, Always My Fault. Always You & Never Me

Always To Blame, Always My Fault. Always You & Never Me

 

The Blame Game

 

It’s My Fault, It Always Is. Isn’t It?

When something goes wrong in your life. Do you blame everyone around you or do you put the blame on yourself? Playing the blame game never worked at least not for me. But still, I’m stuck in the sick blaming game and that’s the truth.

Playing the blame game

I blame everyone and everything including myself

You got it right! I blame everyone and everything and myself for my entire life and even my daily affairs. How did this topic surface today? I realized that I’m such a sorry ass toxic and negative person with so much sorrow, pain, anger, undealt issues underlying all these emotions on a day to day basis.

Battling with the Monster in my head

I struggled writing today’s entry because my mind was blank and I was all over the place with my thoughts. Its so draining, nothing motivational and inspirational. Depressing is the word. Who would want to read something like that? So I sat down for an hour trying to write something positive or something interesting which I think someone would want to read.

The Monster In Me

The Monster In Me

And that’s when my thoughts started flowing

The Thoughts

The Thoughts

I Wanted To Be Me

I didn’t want to write anything based on what people want to hear. Talking about the facts or truth about the movie “13 Reasons Why” which was posted everywhere in my feed is definitely not what I want to share. I wanted to be ME and that was the purpose of my blog. I wanted to write because I needed to write and it’s when I write that I force myself to do some inner soul searching on what I really feel.

I’m Scared Of Myself, It Truly Frightens Me

Perhaps I got scared of who I really am. And when I decided to be myself again, everything flowed so naturally. I had to reassure myself and that is how I can be true to myself and be true in my articles. I’m not here to sugar coat my life, my feelings, and my thoughts. This is my safe place to be ME.

I hate myself

Self Doubt

Self Doubt

I’m a horrible person, wife, mom, and a waste of resources and space.

I don’t know what to do. Plenty of irrational thoughts are running through my head, they are all over the place. My childhood, my past dreams, my wishes, my life, my choices. Obviously, I have many questions left unanswered. And within the next minute, my brain is fogged.

The Voices In My Head

I constantly end up feeling guilty, upset, emotionally drained and confused. I may even feel completely useless or incompetent. It may seem harmless in the beginning but my husband always said that one’s words and actions can be extremely toxic. In reality, I contradict myself, and then the blaming begins. Although this may be true, I can’t help thinking if I’m the cause of everything happening in my life. Is it really me, is it my fault, am I delusional, what did I do, and then on either side I have a different voice which says the exact opposite, no it is really not me, I never intended for it to be that way, and ill always end up feel so much pain and sadness in my heart.

Has anyone told you?

Have you been told that you’re dramatic, pathetic, self-pitiful, impossible, toxic, a control freak, an asshole, not a nice person at all, bad-hearted and even possible a Narcissist. That’s what I grew up believing.

What Is Wrong With Me?

Is it really me, is it my fault, am I delusional and in denial?

As a matter of fact, I’ve been wondering if that is all true, and if it is true how can I face up to it, acknowledge it and deal with it. I believe that every human being has a good heart. What is wrong with me? These voices/thoughts will not go away.

It's Possible

It’s Possible

 

In any event, that you are struggling, consider this:

If everything really is your fault, then you must have the power to cause every bad (or good) thing that happens. Check out this Link which I found really helpful https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201207/stop-playing-the-blame-game

How to Stop The Blame Game

1. Start by believing that there is a lesson you can learn and consent to learn it.

2. Admit that you MAY have contributed to the problem.

3. Take some alone time and reflect on the situation.

4. Let go of your attachment to the problem.

5. You Must always remember that nothing is one-sided, everything takes two hands to clap.

You are NOT bad

You are NOT bad

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